De-Stress

Palindromes
Palindromes - word or sentence that reads the same backwards and forwards.

1. Murder for a jar of red rum.
2. Never odd or even.
3. No lemons, no melon.
4. Nurse! I spy gypsies! Run!
5. Party booby-trap.
6. Was it a car or a cat I saw?
7. Yo, banana boy!

Bumper Stickers

1. Don’t honk – I’m pedaling as fast as I can.
2. If you can read this bumper sticker, you’re in range.
3. Out of my mind. Be back in five minutes.
4. Cover me. I’m changing lanes.
5. When there’s a will, I want to be in it!
6. Consciousness. That annoying time between naps.
7. We are Microsoft. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.
8. Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.
9. Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
10. Born free… taxed to death.
11. Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.
12. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
13. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
14. Don’t drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink.
15. If you’re cute and rich – HONK!
16. If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, then baffle them with bullshit.
17. Practice safe sex, go fuck yourself.
18. If you drink, don’t park, accidents cause people.
19. I’m out of bed and dressed… what more do you want?
20. I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
21. Failure is not an option! It comes bundled with the software.
22. If ignorance is bliss, then why aren’t more people happy?
23. Hard work pays off later, laziness pays off now!
24. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
25. I don’t discriminate, I hate everyone!
26. Student driver – get the hell out of my way!
27. Practice safe sex, go screw yourself.
28. I don’t remember if I’m the good twin or the bad one.
29. I just want revenge. Is that so bad?
30. I may be fat, but you are ugly and I can lose weight.
31. Practicing safe sex? Give yourself a hand!