Aaaand we're off to Banaue later this evening. It's a 10-hour trip and I'm prepping myself up to the be eternal driver. I volunteered coz (1) of all of us, I'm the one who's basically awake most of the night and sleeps the latest, so I can handle the evening drive and (2) I miss driving manual. I was pretty excited (mostly with the outfit planning), now I'm... normal. Like I don't feel like we're leaving later. But I am pretty stoked that we are leaving. Entire family's going: mom, dad, brother, sis-in-law, nephew. It's Em-em's first trip! Yay for him! Not that he'll be able to appreciate it but, still, we'll be able to appreciate him, and that's the important bit

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I'm so obsessed with money nowadays I know it's bad and stuff, but I can't help it. I want to work already. To be able to make my own money and use it as I see fit. Besides, er... there are quite a number of things I want to buy this year. Things that I've always wanted but didn't know I could buy... and now I know so I wanna buy them while supplies last. What, you wonder, do I want? Well... anime stuff. I used to think that they were blasted expensive and wasn't worth the effort to try and collect them. But in amazon.com, they have used stuff that sells pretty cheap. Problem is, it's in dollars. But it's cheaper... a more reasonable price too. I'm not after brand-new never-been-used type (coz that's waaaay too expensive - about $100 a pop), but I just want a copy that's nice and fixed and not at all destroyed. That's it. I want to collect Sailormoon dvds (all seasons + movies) that have the Japanese dubbed with English subtitles on it, Sailormoon soundtracks (I think there are 3), Magic Knights Rayearth soundtracks (I think there are 2), Sailormoon mangas (Shirl told me of books they sell in the states, huge comic books that comprise about 2-3 volumes of single mangas - it's cheaper that way) in English (coz, duh, nice-to-look at lang siya for me if it were in Japanese). And... that's it. The soundtracks, I think I can get here for php410 (Shirl has Comic Alley membership card and discount) each... still a pretty penny but it's normal cd price, right? And those are worth it naman. But the dvds and mangas (or whatever you call 'em... starts with a 't')... those are only in the states... and I really want them... and they cost quite a bit... Haaaay. Want a job.

Plus, shopping. It gets kind of tiring to be asking for money always. For books, clothes, cds... It'd be nice if I could have my own cash and spend (and save!) it as I see fit. Haaaay.

Besides, I also feel guilty coz of my medical needs - tuition, books, medical materials... it ain't cheap to go to med school. And I feel guilty asking for 11,000 for a diagnostic set, 2,500 for a set of steths, and books that have a 4-digit (or more) price tag... and 60-70,000 for my semestral tuition If I could help man lang sana, even to pay for the materials we need, that'd be great. I just feel bad.

It doesn't help that most of my friends are now working and earning their own way... hehehe nakaka-inggit.

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I have a feeling that when graduation rolls around, I'll be bawling like a baby and going a tad wild. Tipong, "tapos na! tapos na! tapos na ang lahat!! i'm doooone!!!" Can't wait for that day. Maybe then the realization that all that I went through was all worth it will be more tangible then.