Book Review

It Had To Be You by Timothy James Beck

Title sounds like a romance novel, eh? Well, it kind of is. Kind of. Perhaps the fact that a guy wrote a book with that kind of a title would give an idea of what the book is all about.

I bought this book maybe about a month ago. I was browsing through Powerbooks and picked this particular book coz it had an interesting cover – light blue with a bit of yellow and, oh, yeah, two guys all semi-lovey-dovey.

Based on the cover, you’d know it was a gay story and the premise backs that up. I read the first two pages and it seemed kind of nice so I decided to take a chance and buy the book. Er… I actually bought two. Coz, really, there are books where you just read the first few pages and you know it’s a keeper. Usually. So to be sure, I usually read the back pages too (I know, Trish, I know, I’m a skipper, but it was new book! I wanted to be sure before buying that it was worth the 600-700 price) and so far, both parts passed the K-Book Test.

I was surprised to find out that I liked the book. I really liked it.

The story wasn’t even really like concentrated on gay. I mean, perhaps it was just the author’s style or maybe because this is my first ‘gay’ book so I have no basis for comparison, but I like the way the author wrote about things matter-of-fact. It wasn’t a book that read like Gay Lit 101 or anything like that, and no, there were no sex scenes. Well, it wasn’t described anyway. You know they had sex, you know they’ll have sex, you know they’ll have regular sex, but it’s not in detail or anything. It was just your average book and average story, just filled with characters who were gay, lesbian, and straight, although very rarely.

I liked all the characters, the way that things in the story progressed, the way the author wrote as if everyone was a real-life human being, including certain information about secondary characters that made them more real, gave them a history even if they didn’t really have anything (or not much, at least) to do with the main story. In other books, those additions would read so obvious, would read fake, but Mr. Beck made me believe that these additional information was just a part of the life the story was talking about.

But what really made me enjoy the book so much and decided that the book (and author) was a keeper were a few things:

1. It was set in New York City – need I say more? I’m in love with that city. Although… Inz, is there really a gay central sorta place in NYC? I’ve heard of Hell’s Kitchen from Daredevil, but what is that place really like? And is there really a Gay Parade kind of affair? Do you know any place called Club Chaos (although it’s a gay-drag place) and this expensive restaurant called Le Coure (?) and Four Seasons? There was also a bunch of places and landmarks mentioned in the book that I’d really love to check out if ever I get lucky and set foot in NYC once again.

2. Although it was normal and nothing particularly earth-shattering happened, I like how Daniel slowly but surely got off his butt to continue on with his life and get over the things that needed to be gotten over with. He got over losing his job and trying to ‘find himself’ as well as learning to trust another guy after being screwed over by his two-timing ex

3. The few “inspirational quotes” that dotted the pages. But don’t get me wrong, the book doesn’t read like Paolo Coelho or even Nicholas Sparks. Like I said, this book reads like your everyday, average ordinary pocket book except that the characters are of the same-sex persuasion.

A few quotes that I feel meant something to me:

Page 82, chapter 4: “Let me say, my young friend, that history has taught us very little about man’s ability to love; that we often misunderstand love until it becomes an unrecognizable mutant. Love is the simplest thing in the world; to love is to stop resisting,” the deli man said to Daniel. And isn’t that true? How we sometimes forget what exactly love is. Some say it’s need, it’s companionship, it’s yadda-yadda, uet at the very base of it all, isn’t love all about surrender? To give up and love and trust that one person? To trust someone enough, to care about someone enough, that you just stop resisting and give in?

Page 316, chapter 15: “It’s not easy being a parent… you can’t help but have hopes and expectations for your children. It’s part of the reason you have children. You raise this person who can share your hopes and dreams, that you can give all the best to. What they don’t tell you is that the person you’re raising is going to have hopes and dreams of his own, and they may not be the same as yours. It would be too much to say that’s a disappointment, because it’s not. [Daniel] haven’t disappointed [his parents]. But the realization that things won’t be the way you thought can be a bitter pill to swallow,” Joyce Stephenson said to her son, Daniel. I think most of us (and I know I’m guilty of this too) forget that our parents our humans too. That they had certain dreams and ideas that they wished their kids would follow, would do. And I have friends who used to complain when their parents would be so strict, would be so demanding, blah-blah. But I think the quote explains things. I particularly like the part “What they don’t tell you is that the person you’re raising is going to have hopes and dreams of his own, and they may not be the same as yours” because I think it mostly covers what most parent-kid problems are all about.

Page 326, chapter 16: Aunt Jen “You know that saying about one door closing and another opening?... that maybe true. However, elevators are better for that saying. Always think of elevators… Elevator doors have sensors on them and won’t close if someone is walking into or out of them. That way, whenever an elevator door is opening and closing for you, your friends can follow.” Daniel “Are you saying that if the friendship is true, my friends will follow no matter what I do?” Aunt Jen “In simplistic terms, yes… You have to make your own choices in life. Get in the elevator and press the buttons.” This reminds me of Lee and I (Lee, hindi ko nalang email, eto na siya), how we ‘got in the elevator and pressed buttons’. We may not be as close as we used to be and I will always miss that. We may not even be in the same country, and I will always miss her. I miss how we were, how we used to be, how she’s such a constant in my life both physically and spiritually. Now, just spiritually hehehe There were times when I missed her so much it hurts, because I was so used to her as a constant in my life. There were times when she’d be too busy (or I’d be too busy) to write and I would miss her so much I’d cry. But then I slowly realized something: I trust in our friendship and I trust in her. And I stopped crying, stopped obsessing. So what if we don’t see each other? So what if we rarely email? I know she’s there and she’ll always be there for me if I need her. I know that, even if it takes a long time, she’ll read my email and reply accordingly. That my door, my life, is always open to her just as her life is open to me. That even if right now, at this moment in time, things are not as it used to be… I know a day will come when it’ll almost be like old times. Does that make sense? That no matter what happens, I know she’ll always be my friend and I’ll be hers. We may not have kept up with each other’s lives and usually, our kwentos are weeks and months delayed… but still, what we have, what we’ve been through, overcomes all that. I have that much faith in her, in us (does that sound totally gay or what? LOL) that the pesky 10,000 miles between us doesn’t matter. That the busy lives and delays in kwentos and occasional emails have no bearing whatsoever on the strength of our friendshp. Of course I miss, I’ll always miss her and I’ll always wish we could talk every day or even email often. But life is what it is and we got on our own elevators and pressed the buttons we chose for our lives. But I know we’re in the same building, or maybe we’re going to the same floors but just in different elevators. Either way, I know she’s there and she’ll always be there. Just like I am for her. And as long as I trust in that, as long as I believe in the both of us, then the current distance (whether physical or spiritual) doesn’t really bother me as much as it did.

Page 327, chapter 16: “People are complex. At love. Love is the simplest thing in the world, Daniel, as long as you stop resisting,” said Aunt Jen. How many times have people obsessed and lost sleep over love? How many times have people wondered if what they feel is love or not? How many times have people been so indecisive about decisions regarding love? Just forget it all and narrow it down to the most important thing: do you or do you not love him/her? And if the answer is yes, then what the heck are you obsessing about? Just stop, well, stop resisting. Stop fighting against the imaginary walls you have in your head that blocks your way to True Love. Y’know? Get over it, get over yourself. Just follow your heart and stop fighting.

Last page: “I finally understand what I’d been looking for. Home wasn’t what I’d left in Eau Claire or what I’d created in Manhattan. It wasn’t what I failed to keep with Jeremy [ex-boyfriend] or lost with 2Di4 [ex job]. Home was believing in myself enough to fully experience life’s losses as well as its celebrations,” thought Daniel. I am guilty of this. Many times I feel out of place, like I fell lost or don’t belong. Many times I’ve obsessed about finding a ‘place to belong’. But if I would just get it into my very thick skull that the first step to ‘feeling as if I belonged’ was to be happy with who I was. Once I’d be happy and confident in myself, once I trust myself in who I am and in the decisions I make… then you can put me in whatever situation and wherever place and I’d be okay. I’d belong, I’d be home. This especially happens when one part of my life ends and another begins. I feel like I’m in limbo, sad at what I lost and worried for my future. But if I could just trust in me, believe in myself, then I wouldn’t sorry much, would I? Because then I’d be able to look at the past for what it was – likewise, treasuring what is meant to be treasured and learning from whatever mistakes I made – and look forward to whatever the future will bring with a light heart and a smile on my face.

This weekend, I’ll read I’m Your Man, which is Blaine’s story. He’s off to have a kid with his (their) lesbian friend Gretchen.