Things I Learned From “Buffy, the Vampire Slayer”

1. (Witch) You only get to live life once and don’t you try to change that. If you miss your youth or want to re-live your youth, don’t do it by usurping your daughter’s life and switching bodies – coz it never ends well for either. You could end up trapped in a cheerleading trophy for life.

2. (Never Kill A Boy On The First Date) Date someone because they’re fun and you like then and not because you’re trying to get some kicks out of dating him/her. While I’m sure there’s a lot of fun stuff to do in funeral homes at night, finding some excitement in that place is not a reason to want to date someone.

3. (Angel) Bad guys can change and turn into good guys. Really. And those are the best kinds because they know both worlds. And there are some guys out there whom you can trust. Really. I’ve read about them.

4. (Out Of Mind Out Of Sight) Even in the mean jungle of high school, we shouldn’t ignore people just because they’re unpopular or because they seem so much of a wallpaper. They’re still people. They could end up invisible and attack you and your friends.

5. (Prophecy Girl) Sometimes you have to do things you don’t like for the greater good. Like dying by drowning just so some bad guy can run off and then you’ve got to run after him so you can kill him.

6. (Reptile Boy) Frat parties are bad. Lying to go to frat parties is bad. Sneaking out to go to frat parties is bad. Drinking in frat parties is bad. Because frat boys all worship big ugly snakes who give them money, prestige, and power and that’s bad.

7. (Halloween) Although it’s the come-as-you-aren’t holiday, being you is still the best.

8. (Lie To Me) One of the early mature lessons taught in Buffy: good and bad isn’t always black and white and life is never easy. In fact, it gets harder. As Buffy said, “It’s like the more I know, the less I understand.”

9. (Surprise/Innocence) Premarital sex is bad. But if you really have to, make sure you’re safe. And make sure your boyfriend won’t lose his soul when he gets a happy and then proceeds to try and kill off all of your friends.

10. (Phases) Werewolves are bad, but only three times out of a month. And if they look like Seth Green and have a personality like Oz, does it even really matter?

11. (Bewitched, Bothered, And Bewildered) Love spells never work. So don’t ever try it at home.

12. (Passion) Passion makes the world go around…

13. (Becoming, Part 1 & 2) The good of many is sometimes the right thing to do rather than the good of one. Especially if your ex-boyfriend-turned-demon opened a hellish dimension and the only way to close it is to kill your man.

14. (Anne) Running away doesn’t solve anything and even if you try, it’s not like you can run away from yourself – which is usually the reason for running away in the first place.

15. (Beauty And The Beasts) Inside every beast is a male. Or, you know, the other way around.

16. (Lover’s Walk) When you lose your woman (or man), don’t get all whiny and revengeful and ask some ex-computer-geek-turned-witch to make you a love spell (also, see #11). Instead, be who you are and, y’know, tie her to a chair and torture her until she confesses to love you again. Or something.

17. (Wish) Be careful what you wish for or you might actually get it. And no matter how things seem to suck, everything happens for a reason… and besides, the alternative could be suckier.

18. (Amends) No matter what bad things are in your past, it’s the present and future that matter more. And you can always try to make amends for whatever wrongs you did before.

19. (Helpless) Slayer strength is all nice, I suppose, but what matters more is the desire to help and the will to do what you know is right, or what you know you have to do.

20. (Consequences) No matter how far into the ‘path of dark’ you walk, you’re never too far from the path of light. All you gotta do is stop and turn around or take that sharp left/right just around the corner. Oh, and remember that evil has a very high price – and it doesn’t accept Mastercard.

21. (I Was Made To Love You) If you’re a computer-genius loser who can’t get a girlfriend, don’t try making one and then ditching the creation you made whose sole purpose of being was to love you when you finally find someone else. And, really, you don’t need to have a relationship to be happy.

22. (Bargaining, Part 1 & 2) If you’re going to resurrect your best friend from the dead, at least do her the kindness of, y’know, taking her out of her coffin before doing the spell or else she’ll be massively in shock when she gets hauled back to life still stuck inside her coffin.

23. (Once More With Feeling) If you can’t find the words to say what you feel, sing it instead…

24. (Season 7) All good things must come to an end. And sometimes, the end should've happened ages ago. So. Know when to end - do it while you're still on top.