1. A Simple Life 2

I tried watching it last night, just to see what it was about. I saw Paris and Nikki Hilton being interviewed by Oprah one night and they talked a bit about their series A Simple Life and even showed a snippet from one episode. So, I figured, might as well check it out.

And call me weird, but I had this morbid curiosity to find out what kind of a girl my "ex" Nick Carter digs.

I was disappointed on all accounts.

What is the deal with Paris? Why do guys like her? She’s waifer-thin for crying out loud! She’s, like, this malnourished girl who has nonexistent curves! Well, her boobs are, well, there, but otherwise… no hips, no waist… may puson… yeah, right. Whatever. And dear God, she makes Jessica Simpson look smart and caring! And that’s saying a lot! She’s got air all up in her head! My gosh. She said in Oprah that she goes to work, but watching the show, the girl can't even do the simplest things! Can’t cook, can’t even find work properly, can’t even baby-sit properly, for crying out loud! And when they couldn't find the kid, it's like she didn't care at all! She's got the facial expressions of a carton box!

And their trailer! Yowza! The OCD in me was making my fingers twitch. How can they live like that? Which clothes are clean and which aren’t? Do they even bathe?? They don’t even know how to cook! Or fix their bed! Or fix their anything! And yet, they don’t have any problems fixing their make-up! I think half the episode was them putting on make-up and retouching their lipsticks or something

And who in heaven’s name is the one who’s with Paris? The name was "Nicole Richie" but who’s she? Is she the Nikki who’s her sister? Doesn’t look like her. And Nikki’s… healthy compared to Paris’ anorexic look. And she (Paris, not Nikki) drives without a license! Wtf?!! The start showed that she got pulled over by a cop because of blue lights on her trailer w/c, apparently, wasn’t allowed in Florida (but she complained that it was allowed in LA) and she was given a warning for that because she was an out-of-state-er. But when the cop asked for license and registration, they were both all, "We don’t know where it is." Yeesh. I mean, I admit to not knowing where the exact location of the registration is in our car but at least, I know where to look. And I HAVE my license!! She didn’t! Wonder why her sorry bulimic ass wasn’t hauled off to jail… and they were both about to flirt off the ticket. Should’ve done it when the cop first stopped them, yes? And not talked to the cop and THEN thought about flirting to get off. Geez. Aarrrrgggh!!

And, yet, weirdly enough, I'll probably be watching again... Their show is so... so... brainless, like Newlyweds that I watch when I want my brain cells to go dead. Although, with Paris' show, my emotions were all riled up and my eyes were in danger of rolling out of their sockets. Jessica and Nick, I can take. Paris and Nikki are like this really horrible crappy show that's like an accident waiting to happen - absolutely disguting but riveting in its own crappy, disgusting, stupid, spoiled way. Besides, I've got nothing much to do on my sembreak anyway.

A little thought keeps running through my head tho... Nick Carter picked this?!?!!

2. The Adventures Of K.R. Velasco

I had a test this morning, a biochem lab finals, that I didn’t really study hard for. Anyway, my uniforms were in my dorm, so I left the house in civilian and rubber shoes. All went well until I parked outside my dorm, got my bag, and realized – oh shit! – I forgot my keys to my dorm. Aaaaaaah panic!!

I immediately racked my head for any of my friend’s whose clothes I could borrow for an hour (the test was only for an hour). I ended up calling Maws and she said that we could see how her uniform fit on me. I would’ve tried Jean but she was home, sick. And so I tried Maws’ uniform. It was quite big (duh!) but at least it fit and it wasn’t, like, sooo huge that I looked like I was drowning in it. And that made me realize… I had no leather shoes! And there’s no one – I repeat, NO ONE – in the barkada who had shoe sizes like mine! The closest would be Kem and Jean, probably, but they weren’t there (Jean was home sick, Kem was home… just home). My shoe size is, on an average, 5 (can go as low as 2, depending on what brand and country; can also go as high as 5 ½) and Maws’ was a 9. But what the hey, I tried it anyway. My gosh, there was 2 inches of space in the back! Con was definitely out of the way since her shoe sizes are bigger than Maws’. I called everyone in Nicasia: Fer (size 7-8; and she suggested I put band-aid on all my toes, wear sandals, and tell everyone who asked that I had ingrown), Mel (size 6-7), and Joy (size 6). Fer, Maws, and Con all have more than one pair of shoes, but wearing their shoes would be like wearing little boats on my feet. Mel and Joy are the closest, but they only had one pair of leather shoes. I was going to borrow Joy’s sandals and brave it but she ended up having an idea that worked: she’d wear shoes and I’d wear the sandals then she’d go up to the second floor bathroom and take off her shoes and ask Maws to bring it down to the canteen so I could wear them, then I’d change from sandals to shoes and go to Joy so she can wear her sandals. Since she only had a class, she wore the sandals in her class. I had a test so I had to wear shoes or else kitang-kita that I wore sandals. And it was biochem, so if Japs (prof Generoso; so named coz… yknow, I’m not even gonna go there) she’d be yelling it for the entire class to see "why are you wearing sandals?!! That’s not allowed!!" Blah-blah. Anyway, after my test, I was to switch shoes with Joy again so that she’d be wearing her shoes and I’d be able to safely leave the building with her sandals. Went off without a hitch. Except that I had to be careful walking else Joy’s shoe would fly away.

If that’s not enough, I was in Maws’ dorm waiting for Joy and her shoes that I remembered (1) I had no ballpen or any writing materials whatsoever, (2) I had no calculator, and (3) I had no ID pin. I thank God and all that’s holy that I did have my ID. I usually left my ID during short vacations (I knew I’d be back when I left Tuesday for my Friday test) but I had decided to put it in my wallet after all.

Dinaan ko nalang sa tawa lahat ng nagyari. I ended up going to class with a smile on my face coz it was better than laughing like a loon when I’m all alone, yes? But I could help but chuckle quietly sometimes when I realized that nothing I wore was, well, mine.

Grabe, that’s what friends are for! LOL pero hindi nga. See? Mga little things like these that make you thankful that you’ve got such great friends around Mwah, mwah