This won't make much sense... but I'm feeling senti...

I tried to be all that I could, enjoyed life to the fullest, became who I wanted to be. I was confident, happy, content with who I am. I treasure all the friends and family that I have. I love as best as I can, with all I had to give because I believe that life is meant to be lived in the fullest, else it's not worth living at all. I like to think I look at life with eyes wide open yet I keep my optimism because being pessimistic seems like such a sad outlook in life. And 'sides, it just wasn't me to be all negative. I know there will be people in my life who would wish me to be someone I'm not, who would wish that I could change. And yet there will be others, too, who would accept me for who I am - all that I am and all that I might want to be. And these are the people who matter, I know, and they're the people I can call my true friends. And yet disappointing others I likewise care about but can't seem to accept me is not easy to do. It hurts. It sucks. It's disappointing. I know I shouldn't obsess or let them affect me, but I can't help it. I love them for them, could they not do the same to me? I'm not perfect nor do I wish to be... and from them, I do not ask anything in return. I wonder how they can complain about who I am while hating others who cannot accept them for who they are? And yet there are times when you think you know a person... and you share a lot with them... you love them... and you are not to them what you would want to be... and maybe they'll find another, and maybe so will I... and you are to them as a real friend. You accept them for who they are, you love them for who they were, is, and want to be. And one day... they become the people who knew they could be, you knew they were... and yet things... don't work out. And you think you're okay, that you'll be okay... but then you realize you're not.... because the endless question will be: why was I not good enough? And I know it's not my fault, that these things just happen coz that's the way life is... but still...

Life's not easy nor is it fair, and I'll always be the first to say that. I accept life, love it for what it is. Yet sometimes... you feel like you got the raw end of the deal... and wonder when things'll turn out for the better. Or even if it ever will. They say that strength and wisdom comes from knowing that whenever you fall, you've got to pick yourself up - and you do. Yet sometimes, I wonder... will I ever stop falling? There are so many cliche's in life... so many advice that people dole out... yet sometimes don't they feel routine? Meaningless sounds one spouts out because you know that nothing else you say will make things better.

People lie, people say the truth. I know I'm not the most honest of people, but to others, emotions are just a game. Which is the lesser evil?

I wonder what it would be like... to wake up every day... in the arms of the person you love... the person whom you can be all that you are... the person who'll accept you as a best friend, a lover... to live life knowing that you love with all your heart and you're confident in the knowledge that you're loved in equal measure in return. They say it'll happen and maybe I believe it will. But somehow... I doubt it.

Yet life is good. Somehow. It can be.